This week in may

Well I can finally breath. It's been a while, I'd almost forgotten what it felt like. Life is good! The X-Men movie was awesome. Go Wolverine!!!!!

The other day I got to go with my brother to the court house in Porterville. It was awesome. We had a wonderful road trip, too bad I had a test that evening, otherwise we could have had the entire day. I love my brother so very much.

I drew a picture of a phoenix with a tear and a hand. Now I have to come up with a story for it....hmmmm

I had a hard time at class yesterday and tuesday. I think Tuesday was worse though. We are learning about Hate Crimes and it brought up a lot of memories. Memories I didn't even know I had and I just started crying. How could people be so cruel to anyone, especially for no reason at all. Why do people hate others who are different or who look different or who have a different life style. I will never understand that, never.

Duh! Should of had a blessing!

So things are getting much better. I finally got a blessing and I feel a whole lot better. I have a job every Monday watching 2 adorable children. School is coming down to the wire with lots of work and assignments. I have missed too many classes for illness whether mental or physical and hope I still pass all of the classes. I have also lost the part of me that writes and creates and I think it is breaking me apart. The good thing is I am now finding that part of me again. The downside to all of that is that I will have to limit my social excursions. That is fine, being social is fine but it is exhausting and it's good to have time to yourself as well. This is more just a ramble post from a rambling mind that has been sick and out of commission for over 5 days. I better stop rambling and get my class work done haha.....what an interesting life. It is better to live your life then to die and wish you had another shot. Dreams and wishes are just that, it is actions that lead to true memories.

Also.......

"SOME people have decided that it would be a great idea to post depressing posts. Then SOME people think it's a great idea to watch depressing shows. ACK! When one is sick the only thing that makes them get better is positive and funny things. Comedy is the greatest medacine. I need to find some funny joke or something to post so that I wont add to the depressing posts!"

Cough Cough, Squeal...

Yea so all this stuff is going around about the deadly swine flu. [haha I read a friends blog that had pigs with wings, swine flew...] Anyways, right before I heard about all of this lock down and fear of travel, I came down sick. Yea, just minor body aches and congestion. Something I knew could get out of hand quick and become an infection if i wasn't careful.

Then I heard about this new deadly virus that's been going around. "Well, I'm glad I'm in America." or maybe, "That's sad. Good thing I don't have that." Then I got worse. Congestion, sneezing, body aches and small fever. Uh Oh!

Well the problem is, it feels like just the regular flu. Then I get a document from Tina in the email that states that it is just the flu. The only difference is that it is a rare strain of the flu. It was deadly in America the first time it showed up, [I forgot already but I think it said 1918 or something like that] Anyways, it will be just like the flu. It is deadly to those that the flu would be deadly too anyways. It is also deadly to 3rd world countries and those places that do not have the medical we do over here or do not have the vaccines and such.

So, yea, I'm sick. I got some sort of flu. Whether it's the "Swine Flu" or some other strain really doesn't matter since I plan on getting better soon anyways. I will just bundle up and take lots of sleepy flu medacine and sleep all day tomorrow. That should kick it, I hope, if not I will do the same thing on saturday. I will sleep the virus away!!!! HA HA HA

Here's a link to the article: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-sci-swine-history27-2009apr27,0,7349414,print.story

Cluttered Room = Cluttered Mind

So my rooms been a super mess. It started out with one thing, which led to another and so on. I continued to say "I'll get to it later" and later never comes. I brought stuff inside from the shed because my things were getting moldy and lots of stuff had to be thrown out. I needed to save my books. Well one day I got caught in a compulsion. I ended up cleaning out all of my dvd's and putting them in an easy to carry cd holder and tossed out all of my dvd cases. Wow that made a big difference in cleaning up my room. Then I put my clothes away and got rid of anything I don't wear anymore. Then the shoes. I was on a roll. The cool thing was that as I simplified my life and got rid of things that are just there but don't do me any good, I was sad for a moment but my mind began to open. I could feel the spirit more, I could think better and I was just happier.

My room is now going back to a small form of dissaray and I find my mind doing the same. Cluttered room really does equal a scattered and cluttered mind. No wonder the Lord has counseled us to simplify our lives and to live within our means.

To Work or Not to Work

So after the no work blues I found that I could do so much good with my time. I uncluttered my room (see Cluttered room = cluttered mind), I started blogging again or at least planning what needed to be blogged, I read all of my emails and cleared out the inbox, I donated a bunch of stuff to Deseret, I got caught up on the gospel blog I am a member of (it is a great place to talk to people about the gospel, feel uplifted and even share your problems with others who understand, if interested I can send the link, I may post it on my facebook anyways.) I cleared out some more applications on facebook and got my puppy to champion level 7 and raced my car to be number 3 among my speed racing friends, I got caught up on my online comic strip, I went to a few activities and planned my lesson for The Mission Preparation class I teach, I went to the Temple a couple times, I slept in but only a little and spent time with my brothers, AND I got hooked on a free online dungeons and dragons type game called Revelation.


Wow, even when not working I guess I still am working. I don't have to worry about retirement becoming boring or event less. Thats a good thing.

Then I got a phone call from a very good friend who is going through a hard time. She wanted to know if I wanted to spend a full day with her and her children at the zoo. It was great fun and she was able to relax on her birthday while I helped keep tabs on the kids. I felt good and she talked with me. She said that her last nanny was fired (for obvious and also reasons that can not be disclosed, for privacy and such), that meant there was a vacant job opening. She said that she really needed a friend to help out bla blah blah,,,,,,,etc......Suffice to say, I took the job.

When I prayed it felt right. At first I was only on temporary for a couple days, but one thing led to another. I have always had problem saying no. I still have that problem. After a few times watching the kids, it started feeling wrong. I couldn't figure it out, I tried quitting, I tried talking to her. I tried a lot of things. Each time I was talked into working and each time she said she would make it work out, no matter what.

So I took the job and still and pondering the question.....to work, or not to work?

(so this is an old post that I never finished but I am trying to finish all half baked projects I've started over the years. Now things are different, I no longer work there....see the blog post titled "plans")

Should I Stay or Should I go....But it's the Temple

So some friends were going to the Temple on Saturday and I was going to do a service project instead. This project had been set up before the date for the Temple. Well I procrastinated and ended up not doing the service project. That gave me the choice, since I had already said I wasn't going to the Temple. Well I thought to myself the night before. "I'm not feeling well so I don't even know if I will get up in time." So I didn't mention anything to anyone. Then I just happened to wake up early, even though I was on the verge of not feeling well and exhaustion. I woke up with energy and everything. So then I decided to take a shower. Grandpa was in the bathroom and sometimes he can take hours just to get ready in the morning. It wasn't looking good and still I had told nobody of the possibility of going. Grandpa got out in record time and I showered. I was all dressed up and my dad asked "Where are you going?" I said, "I'm thinking of going to the Temple" He looked a little sad, "Oh, I thought you were going to be home." I looked at him, "Why?" I asked. He shrugged, "I was hoping to play games together." "Oh" I said. It was a tempting offer, I thought it over but then he said, "The Temple is a good decision." I nodded, "Yes it is. Maybe we can play games another time." My mother, who was going, was running late. This was a blessing because I was ready at the same time she was. I was out the door and got in the car. "Where are you going?" She asked. "Why to the Temple of course." She just looked shocked and then we went. It was a great decision even if my emotions were all crazy that day. The Temple can't always fix everything but it is still a good choice to make. When I die will the Lord ask, "What level did you get your character too on Revelation." or "How far did you get on Revelation." I don't even know if he'll ask "How many times did you go to the Temple?" I think He will ask something like, "How many people did you help?" "How did you build relationships with your family?" "Did you care enough for people to give them the opportunity to make the same covenants you have already made?" These new questions can lead into going to the Temple, serving others, sharing the Gospel and other things we have been asked to do. It's not your actions, but the intent of your heart.

Should I stay or should I go? That is entirely up to you. It's the Love that matters.

The no work blues

My job ended earlier than expected. I was working one day and jobless the next. I sent a message to the agency and haven't heard from them. It must be a slow period with the economy and all. How will I pay my bills? What will I do with the extra time? Will I be slothful and lazy? Who knows but for today I'm singing the no work blues.

Who knows what the reason may be, only the Lord. I will trust in Him and see how my life goes.

(This is a post from a couple weeks ago, when I wasn't blogging and should have been)