After careful consideration, and the fact that I have lost all but one sticky note, this is the winner for my next blog post. This is a subject that I have been mulling over in my mind for some time now, months actually. What is the difference between serious depression and a broken heart.
At first I didn't find there to be much of a difference between the two. Observing people, watching movies, reading books and such. It just hit a button, my curiosity button.
Now I know what depression feels like. I used to go through serious roller-coasters of emotions, though I happen to be more stable now. I do still go through bouts of depression. I know what that feels like. It's similar to ripping out your soul, tearing it to shreds, stomping on it a few times and then throwing it back in your body.
It was then that I decided that I needed to experience what a broken heart felt like. I became determined to "fall in love" to trust someone completely, to open my heart, mind and soul. It turns out that love isn't something that you just decide to do one day, go figure.
Well that fell through, as it has for years. Yes, I have made this decision before and yes each time I expect a different result.
As time has passed, I have found the answer, or at least some semblance of one.
Depression throws a person deep into a never ending abyss. A person is unable to function, refuses to eat usually or eats too much, is attracted to sweets, either watches too much TV, plays too many video games or is online for hours on end doing absolutely nothing. This also leads to random bouts of crying or pain. Many times this leads to "why me" or suicidal thoughts. There is no desire to do anything and the person will lay in bed for long periods of time.
Many of these symptoms are true for the broken heart. The biggest difference that I can find is that with a broken heart there is an object/person that is the main focus. There is a sharp pain to the heart or stomach when a memory is triggered.
I don't know what I decided to write this. It was something I think about off and on, I guess you could say it's one of my obsessions. Experience life, the good and the bad. I don't know if it's some sick, sadistic way of satisfying curiosity or if it's because it really doesn't matter.
Well, I can't just end on that note. I'd like to find that I still have friends, and living friends too, by the time I come back from the YSA Conference. I saw the movie "Funny People" and I found it to be hilarious. I don't know if I'd recommend it to certain of my friends but I loved it. It wasn't just random jokes to get a laugh either, there was a pretty good storyline.
Although the movie I am most stoked to see is "2012" I love action, disaster movies and I don't know why. In order of favorite types of movies I'd have to put:
Least favorite types:
3) Same story that's been told the same way before with no new interesting factor.