Fun on the road

This blog is in reminder of all the interesting things, crazy drivers and what not that is found on the road.  In a matter of a couple days I had enough experiences to fill many blogs, these are the highlights. 

First to start off on a good note I ran into two friendly cops on the same day.  One stopped to let me in when traffic was crazy.  At first I thought it was an alterior motive to more easily pull me over for something.  but it wasn't.  he smiled and waved later on when he passed me in the fast lane.  Then a different cop smiled and waved as I was getting out of my car in front of my house, it was the cop who had taken the report on my broken window a while back.  Then a day later I was out with my Grammy and she had me pull over next to a cop so she could tell him, "Thank you for what you do."  His mouth dropped open in shock and he didn't know what to say.

Of course there are the stupid or crazy drivers.  A truck decided to make a left turn across on coming traffic when the oncoming traffic was frighfully close.  As he moved I thought for sure he would get T-boned right in front of me.  It was close, a foot away from being hit by one car and an inch away from being hit by another car.  Stupid truck, a little patience and it wouldn't have been a life or death experience. 

Thoughts behind the reasoning of an agressive driver:  Once the driver takes their emotion to the next level, the adrenalin rush is too much.  They simply get worse.  Like a driver fighting like crazy to pass and get in front of another car, only to end up tailing a different car even though they have no intention of passing this second car.  They just ride the bumper.

How about a car that is getting off in the same spot where I am merging in.  It just comes over right next to me so I either get in an accident or slam my breaks.  After slamming my brakes there is no speed left to merge safely.  Having to wait for traffic to clear to merge.

Then there are the simple idiot drivers.  Not really hurting anything but doing things like this.  A truck that turns on it's left blinker so it can get over into the right lane, Across white solid lines as well.

And of course, I can't forget those really hungry individuals that just can't wait.  This car speeds up to get in front of me.  Weaves in and out of traffic, simply to make it to the Burger King drive thru 30 seconds faster than he would have.  Now that's what I call hungry.

In closing, I did find it interesting that in two days I saw both a Rhode Island liscence plate and a Florida.  (there were plenty of California, a few Oregon, some Utah and Arizona; but I see those all the time.)

It's Gavin!!!!!!!!

My sister, Crystal, just had her baby.  A healthy 8lb baby boy named Gavin Mark Vanzeveren.  He has a full head of blond hair.  Crystal is doing well and on the mend and will be returning home in a few days.  I can't wait to come and visit her.  I love her so much!!!!!!

I've forgotten how to fly

This is a post that I have been meaning to publish for (nearly two years? a year and a half? little over a year?) a really long time.  I have noticed that for me a really long time can be anywhere from a week to ten or more years back but it all feels like a really long time to me.  Go figure:

There are lots of things I have forgotten and not all of it is bad.  Actually the forgetting has made life a little different but because of the forgetting I can't remmeber how different.  Unless, I look at my journal entries.  Sometimes when I read my journal I wonder, "what was I thinking?" "How could I have believed that?" "Was I crazy?" "am I still crazy now?" "what is the truth and what is fiction?"

One of the things I had forgotten is how to fly.  I knew that feeling so well that I could feel the muscles on my back where wings could/should be.  I could close my eyes and feel the wind in my hair, feel my body floating, soaring, diving and flying.  I could feel the change in atmosphere as I tried to breath.  It was such a detailed vision I felt as if I had been able to fly in a previous life.  (of course the crazy part was that in that previous life I was a dragon but I'm not going to dwell too much on that part.)

Flying was second nature.  It was in my dreams.  It was in my daydreams.  It was one of my regular thoughts.  Then I gave all of that up for nearly two years.  I let it go.  I used my self control to stop the daydreams, stop the stories and stop the previous belief systems I held.  There are, I think, two times I faltered.  The first time I wrote down the ideas and story that came to my mind, sealed it up and locked it away.  I can't remember what I did the second time, but for the most part I did good. 

Coming home, I fell back into my dreams.  A part of me felt like I needed to let go but I didn't.  I couldn't.  This was my life, what would I be without my dreams?  Then a while ago (couple years? year?) I started seeking help.  I found people to talk to and they found different answers for me, that didn't really work.  I can't remember when it happend but I think it was pretty abrupt.  I think, one day, I simply woke up and had forgotten how to fly.  That was the first step.  I wrote many journal entries.  I tried to remember.  I tried to enter a world that I had created, but it didn't work.  I couldn't find the stories any more.

In reality, the stories were still there.  I still know the mechanics, the characters etc...but the reality is gone.  A part of me feels like I have fallen and shattered into a million pieces, the good thing is that the pieces are still all there.  Now I sit here and piece by piece, put the puzzle back together.  I'm glad I like puzzles so much.  So it all started with forgetting one thing, one very important part and that was 'how to fly'.  But that is the beginning of a new world and the chance to become a better person.

(now if I can just fulfill my goal and try to publish these darn stories lol)

New Year

So many people have made resolutions for the new year.  I have never done this, to my knowledge.  I have always lived in the moment and never really planned for the future.  Some of that can be blamed on a chemical imbalance, some can be blamed on laziness and some can be blamed on bad luck.

I have been unstable for too many years and I have hated myself for that time.  I have imperfections that affect others and when they point them out I hate myself even more.  This is a pattern I have followed and when someone hates who they are they don't have the willpower to change.  So I stayed in this cycle of self loathing until I broke, snapped right in two.  I left everything I had been holding on to behind and decided to leave and go a completely different direction.  This to would have been self destructive if I hadn't met someone who gave me a reason to change, who made me feel like maybe I had a small piece of worth that was worth saving.  I feel like this person has stabilized me to some extent but still I have trouble making up my mind and going all "skitzo".  One day it's ok and the next I'm opposite.

For the new year I would like:
*to have a part time job (to achieve this I have been applying to at least one job every day)
*to find out where I stand religiously (to achieve this I am going to church, praying and reading scriptures)
*to clear out my debts (I have already made a plan and a part time job would clear all my debts in a year)
*to enter all my handwritten stories into my computer.

So, even though resolutions are selfish and all about me, I know that nothing will change unless a plan is made, goals are set up and daily goals are followed.

Threes?

So a friend told me that things come in three's.  First my games and electronic items were stolen, on top of a number of expensive games that belong to a friend of mine.  That was an expensive and hard lesson to learn.  Then my car window was shot out, luckily nobody was injured and it was only one window.  I also have the help of a fabulous man, Sean, who has been comforting me and helping me through this.  Now its the misunderstandings and anger of two people close to me.  Both find their problems in their life to be MY fault and have decided to lay it all out on me.  I can't take this.  I don't understand why I have to find ways to make my life work on my own.  How come it's my own fault if I don't sign up for classes and miss deadlines and now it's my fault if you miss the deadlines yourself?  How come I have to go to counselors and use the help that the school offers but then I get yelled at when I don't help you at the drop of a hat.  You claim hardship to the collage so that you can receive financial aide and then expect everyone to hold your hand and walk you to your classes.  Wake up and take some responsibility.  It's not my fault and it's not your parents fault.  Even if your parents feel the same way and wish to lay the blame on me as well.  I don't have to take the blame.  I've taken the blame for so many things all of my life, I don't need to do it any more.  The problem is, it hurts my heart and still deep inside I feel like it's my fault.  Will that feeling ever go away?  Will a day come when I can wake up and realize that if the world exploded tomorrow, that it would not be my fault?  Can I ever find a way to stop taking everyone else's problems on as my own?  It is a whole lot of unnecessary stress that I don't need.  Living here is a lot of unnecessary stress that I don't need.  Am I capable of getting out or am I still too needy to be able to make it on my own.  Or, is this simply me running away from my problems.  It would be nice to move to Alaska and have a fresh start.  If only things were that easy.

Time to play Ketchup

So this is a blog to say: "Yes, I am alive. I have not forgotten my blog. I will be posting soon"

I have 4 blogs already written and ready to be typed up, I will date them as best as I can remember, since I forgot to put the dates on the paper I wrote them on. The reason I am typing this instead of simply posting the blogs is the fact that it is almost one in the morning and I have school tomorrow. Not that I'm all that tired but I should at least try to sleep.

Tomorrow I have time, after typing up a paper for my Filipino class, Catching up on 3 chapters of Biology, and Doing a chapter section of homework for statistics. I still have my statistics lab and another two chapters of biology but those will be for Tuesday. I also still have to set up a tour with East Bay Collage, call the temp agency to see if any jobs have come in for the week and get my brother to fill up my tank of gas in my car. Oh yea, and polish up my story to enter into a writing contest.

Crazy stuff but it will all be worth it. So tomorrow the four mystery blogs will appear ranging from early September to about a week ago. Maybe a fifth one for this weekend, we'll see.

Dinners

I'm trying to upload pictures with the new blogging format and it keeps failing.  If I can get it to work I will add pictures here.  So at the time I took these pictures I had started making dinners for my family on Sundays.

I made Stuffed Bell Peppers with fruit and cottage cheese and cinnimon rolls for desert on the first night.  It turned out really well.  I could use a little more practice on the cinnimon rolls though because they were a bit doughy and not quite right.

I then ventured to making a chicken pot pie from scratch and that turned out really delicious.  My presentation was lacking though, which is usually the case, but the food was great.  This is another dish I would like to practice more to get it right.

I then made a baked chicken salad with special cheese crumbles and olives.  It was a little too strong I think I need a lighter flavor of olives or a different dressing to go with it but I loved it.  The zing of flavors was just what my mouth wanted.

I have since made ginger beef stir-fry, chicken and rice and other delicious foods.  I love cooking but I'm not so fond of doing the dishes afterwords.  It has been a fun adventure.  I also made a strawberry pie with Sean and that was really good.  Strawberries are one of my most favorite fruits.